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It's the cream of the fight!

Wed Jan 3, 2007, 2:41 AM
I decided to post a journal about this a good four weeks before it happens just to make sure no one is caught off-guard and is well aware that everything is fine & good.

Earlier last year around March I notified $spyed that I would be leaving deviantART at the end of the 2006 year. As it turns out I am staying on for another month to help transition someone else into my position and will be leaving at the end of January (this month). Before anyone jumps to any kind of conclusions, this is a good thing. I am not upset with deviantART or anyone who works there. I am leaving for my own personal reasons which I will detail more so in a moment.

I have mixed feelings about the whole move. On one account it is very strange and on the other it is quite exciting to be free to move on with my life. deviantART has become a huge part of my life, and a lot of things have changed since I came on board.

When I had that first landmark three hour phone call with $spyed I was 22 years old. I was CTO of a credit card processor, making very good money, and had a very hot girlfriend. It was in an environment where those not in the know called me a prodigy on a regular basis. No matter how much I knew it was all bullshit I will admit there was a little ego there, probably too much.

While I found $spyed to be one of the most interesting young visionaries I had ever spoken to, my ego reminded me that it just made sense that we should work together (If you are wondering; yes I am blushing horribly writing all this down). I was the shit, right?

So as is the balance of life; it was my turn to get my ass kicked. :) And kicked it was. In a matter of one month I lost my job, car, girlfriend, apartment, and found myself 'borrowing' my cousins (`ien) bathroom closet to sleep in. Now I was faced with a completely real decision. Do I go out and start making phone calls to find a job, which I will most likely really hate, or do I put more into this deviantART 'thing'?

I cannot tell you the exact day, but sometime toward the end of October 2002 $spyed received a phone call from me where I told him I now had a lot more time on my hands. At the time deviantART could do little to reimburse me for that time. Things went on like that for a year. Barely getting by and many times scrounging for change to eat. I bring up all this detail simply so I can make the next statement. That year was the most important of my life.

I learned so much from that experience. At the same time I learned much from $spyed in the art of management and other business related matters. Watching deviantART grow in the years since has been a pleasure indeed. I would not trade it for anything.

So why am I leaving?

Well I mentioned that many things have changed. I have grown, and am quickly approaching the big three oh. When I started with deviantART I was a maniac workaholic. I breathed and slept work. On one hand I got a lot done, even earning the nickname 'The Magic Man'. On the other hand it was extremely unhealthy. The honest truth of the matter is that there is something wrong if you have to work that much. I finally found out earlier in 06' that there was something wrong and I got meds for it. Because of which my outlook on things have changed.

[PARAGRAPH REMOVED]

I find myself from time to time seeing a father with his little girl and something churns in my chest with some phantom urge to consider the possibility of children. Not that it will ever happen, but it is something which has definitely changed in the past four years.

deviantART is actually at a point where they do not need me. Granted they could use me, but they don't need me. I am not the most qualified option for my current position, and when someone else is found for it, there is nothing else for me to do. Community Development is rockin. Artist Relations is grand. Prints is getting better and better. Creative is very active. Which are very good things to be able to say. For once it is a good feeling to not be needed. :)

Last but most definitely not the least, I have my own project which I have been working on for the past year. Something I am pursuing with `fluffy and =channelcat, among others who would rather remain nameless. Things are going really well and I need to be able to focus more time and energy on it.

I also have another project which is a focus more for my financial processing background and will be a very lucrative affair. :)


To be perfectly honest, things at deviantART are great. It is just time for me to take what I have learned and go do my own thing, my way. Pursue my family goals, build an empire, take over the worl-- er.. *cough* yeah.. my own thing.

I am going to make a horribly bad decision here and actually try to list all those which I have enjoyed working with all this time. I know I will leave people out, because my brain is more jello than a solid lately. And if any of you are foolish enough to believing that there is any kind of order to these, I sense great reoccurring disappointment for you in life.

So yes, all these people have been awesome. Thank you for all you have taught me, and shared with me. You are a group which will not be forgotten.









Ok and now for something completely different. Ok, not really. Yes, I actually love this song! So deal with it!

Bye


:pointr: Eye Of The Tiger
:pointr: Survivor

:pointr: Download: [link]

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For we kill with the skill to survive

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Risin' up, straight to the top
Have the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

The eye of the tiger...

93 Comments
  • Mood: Optimism

Devious Comments

love 4 4 joy 7 7 wow 0 0 mad 1 1 sad 4 4 fear 0 0 neutral 1 1

~channelcat:iconchannelcat: Jan 3, 2007, 2:47:56 AM
I'll miss you man :(
`bananaprincess:iconbananaprincess: Jan 3, 2007, 2:48:39 AM
I'm sad to see you go, Spot, but I'm sure the future holds great things for you. I hope you'll still stop by dA.

--
Critiquing someone's prose or poetry is an awesome thing to do.
:star:The supremely awesome Mimesis 3 is available now!
~GilesTheBlank:iconGilesTheBlank: Jan 3, 2007, 2:49:38 AM
Im glad your finding your way in life :D
Good luck with that.. and keep on singing that awesome song!
:#1:
°spot:iconspot: Jan 3, 2007, 2:50:50 AM
DAMNIT! I knew I would forget someone!@#!@# ACK!

Sorry dear. :) Much :heart:

--
I, Gamer - Napalm Riot!
Mood: Joy °spot:iconspot: Jan 3, 2007, 2:51:18 AM
Admit how much you love Eye Of The Tiger!

ADMIT IT! I KNOW YOU DO!!!

--
I, Gamer - Napalm Riot!
Mood: Frustrated ~channelcat:iconchannelcat: Jan 3, 2007, 2:53:06 AM
I'll admit that it's stuck in my head right now!
°spot:iconspot: Jan 3, 2007, 2:54:14 AM
And stop it with the missing stuff. You see me more than Angelo!

AHHA

--
I, Gamer - Napalm Riot!
Mood: Joy °spot:iconspot: Jan 3, 2007, 2:54:47 AM
ohhhh fuck yeah!

*dances* :dance:

OH YEAAAAHH!!! :boogie:

--
I, Gamer - Napalm Riot!
`bananaprincess:iconbananaprincess: Jan 3, 2007, 2:56:15 AM
:hug:

--
Critiquing someone's prose or poetry is an awesome thing to do.
:star:The supremely awesome Mimesis 3 is available now!
Mood: Anguish $eStunt:iconeStunt: Jan 3, 2007, 3:51:50 AM
I knew this day was coming...but it just seem like it came so soon. :'(

You're an awesome person and I hope that you'll stop by once in a while and update us on "things." And if you slack off with that, then I have your cell phone number. :evillaugh:

Good luck with your future endeavors. But I know you'll do amazing.


:hug: :heart:

--
/matt

I think deviously, therefore, I am deviant. :fella:
[devious technology designer / community whore]
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ShoutBoard

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his fater always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it.

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostles's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly.

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he cound reach the kitchen.

---
Poem from The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

Shoutbox

~jonasluver:iconjonasluver:
my favorite book
Wed Sep 10, 2008, 5:10 PM
~vytalibus:iconvytalibus:
Touching poem. Reveals the harsh but true realities of life.
Fri Feb 2, 2007, 8:12 AM
~XII-Itachi:iconXII-Itachi:
Your poem made me cry... very touching. It shows just what's going on in this world behind all the happiness. :cries:
Thu Feb 1, 2007, 5:42 PM
~Fighting-Wolv:iconFighting-Wolv:
Shout board poem is deep and shows much of whats happening to everyone these days. Its true and so sad.
Thu Feb 1, 2007, 11:46 AM
~Aidenn-Faolan:iconAidenn-Faolan:
:salute:
Thu Feb 1, 2007, 6:32 AM

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Shoutboard

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his fater always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it.

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostles's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly.

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he cound reach the kitchen.

---
Poem from The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

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